For more than two decades, parents have been fighting an uphill battle against big tech companies and algorithms engineered for addiction. Many are now in a situation where they hand a smartphone to their child not out of genuine choice, but sheer exhaustion or the relentless fear of their child being left out – despite 83% of parents agreeing that smartphones are potentially harmful to young people.
With many children now plugged into devices that drain attention and break connection, saying “no” can feel isolating, overwhelming and laced with parental guilt. “This burden of keeping our children out of the attention economy factory is more than most of us can manage,” confirms Charlotte Ashton, journalist and co-founder of Generation Focus.
But it’s time to rewrite that narrative.
Saying “no” to a smartphone shouldn’t be viewed as a compromise or punishment; it should be seen as an act of liberation. It’s a way to give children their childhood back, protecting them from devices we know have such a negative impact on young brains.
Rewriting parental guilt
When every single one of a child’s peers is set up with a smartphone, refusing access can immediately trigger guilt among parents.
“Parents are often just not strong enough to deal with peer pressure, and they’re so worried about their children missing out socially and being isolated,” says Nova Eden, founder of One Collective Power. “What I really want to focus on is this: let’s think, instead of what they’re missing out on, let’s look at what they stand to gain… and that’s a longer, fuller childhood and better mental health.”
Guy Holder, co-founder of Set@16, highlights that responsibility should be shifted. “Parents don’t want to buy this device - understandably so - but they feel compelled to. So you’ve got an unmet need [for a more child-friendly device] that is not going to be met by big tech because that’s not their business model.”
Jane Rowland, co-founder of SafeScreens, concurs: “Very strongly and squarely, the blame for this needs to be laid at the tech companies’ doors and not on the families.”
Empowering a smartphone-free childhood
Arabella Skinner, director of Health Professionals for SaferScreens, believes a smart route towards a smartphone-free childhood could be via young adult voices. “There’s some really powerful messaging through young people saying ‘Don’t buy your kid a phone, don’t give your child access… I wasn’t ready.’ As a parent hearing that, I think that would make me more confident my child won’t hate me forever.”
As the parent of a late teen and co-founder of Set@16, Kitty Hamilton says her daughter, and many of her daughter's friends, all agree they will delay giving their children smartphones until at least 16. "As a parent, I have seen how addictive smartphones are and, just like any drug, it's easier not to start than to stop. Giving your child a simpler phone that allows you to track them and for them to text and talk to selected friends is really all you need. As a parent who's learnt the hard way, I can't say this enough: parents, please stick together and stick to bricks."
The benefits of a smartphone-free childhood are vast. “We need to really reclaim childhood as a whole and get children outside again, get them playing again,” says Eden. “They need freedom to play and freedom from passive digital consumption.”
Connection without addiction
For many parents, the concept of their child being completely phone-free is a terrifying one – with no way to reach them and ensure their safety. But a blanket ban doesn’t have to be the solution.
XploraOne is our answer to this – a “startphone” that’s designed for young hands, enabling them to stay connected with parents and friends, without the distraction and insidious harm that can come from social media, internet and apps.
“[Brick phones] make it easier for you to help your children do the things we know they need to do… selecting the good bits of tech and putting them in a device made for children, which encourages you and supports your child to be doing things in the real world,” says Ashton.
“Your child can still be in touch with you… but they don’t lose out on what they’re meant to be doing,” agrees Jennifer Powers, founder of Unplugged Coalition. “[A brick phone] gives your child the opportunity to continue experiencing human interaction and joy.”
But empowering parents to make the switch is just one piece of the puzzle. Xplora CEO, Sten Kirkbak, believes a group effort is required to bring about true change. “We always say ‘it takes a village to raise a child’. That means parents, children, educators, authorities, health experts, researchers and more, working together to bring about change. We’re committed to building technology that supports a safer, healthier digital life for children. We hope parents and children want to join us on that journey.”
And for those parents looking to start a smartphone-free journey, while feeling guilty they didn’t do it sooner, Ashton has an impactful message: “A.A. Milne, in Winnie the Pooh, said ‘We can’t go back and change the beginning, but we can start where we are now and change the ending’... So let’s move forward in a really positive way.”
